pare-pareHo ba talaga ang mga lalaki?

I often hear this line from Pinoy romantic movies
(okay, so I'll paraphrase):
"pare-pareho lang kayong lahat na mga lalaki!"
But is it really true that all guys are the same?
Hmmm... let me see.

By ratio and proportion, I've spent more years of my life with girls than with guys. That's because I studied in exclusive all-girls schools from elementary to high school and only got to really hang out with guys when I stepped into college.So let me just sort of categorize the guys I've been with to see if all of them really are the same... or the infamous Pinoy movie line is a sweeping statement.

[ the hopeless romantic ]
The hopeless romantic is the guy who doesn't feel ashamed telling his girlfriends (friends who are girls) that he likes someone and would like to court her.
He is a little traditional, resorts to writing loveletters than just being contented to "hi. how ru?" texts to his prospect every nanosecond. He would go as far as buy a beautiful bouquet and deliver it to your classroom (seeing to it that HE will deliver it, not some "bridge"), or study a piano piece of your favorite song and play it for you as a gift for your birthday.The hopeless romantic is also into little sentimental things.
He isn't afraid to shed tears when heartbroken, isn't afraid to show affection, and isn't terrified by the prospect of accompanying his "special someone" to the mall because it only means more quality time for both of them.I appreciate my hopeless romantic friend so much because he is not difficult to talk to regarding matters of the heart, and instead of giving me advice all the time, he silently listens to me and just encourages me to hold on.

[ the psychotic-loyal friend ]
The psychotic-loyal friend may not be the one who will comfort you when you're down, or the one who will always be there when you need him.
He may be a little obnoxious, a little violent (slaps your back *hard* once in a while or grips your wrist *hard* just for kicks), and a little over-analytical sometimes that he forgets that there are things called "feelings".
The psychotic-loyal friend, however, knows when the things bothering you are going a little over the top. He doesn't show that he knows, but trust me... he knows.
How will you know he knows? Make him drink a few rounds of alcohol, you'll see. In my case, my psychotic-loyal friend made me see AND hear his sentiments about my so-called lovelife when we were in college. To tell you the truth, I got scared of him when he started crying, cursing and throwing death threats to my "flame" (huh?) at the time.That was the time I realized my psychotic-friend really loved me and cared for me, and I really appreciated it.

[ the pasakay ]
The pasakay is someone who's really, really cute, possesses a magnificent amount of charm, has a mega-watt smile, and could pass as a movie actor at any given day.
What makes them a pasakay is their ability to take you on a ride, and make you believe that they have got the hots for you (I just haven't figured it out if they mean it or not).
Their usual gimmick is to treat you like a queen, look at you straight in the eye and sing some of the most beautiful songs ever written, eat lunch out with you, text you with sweet nothings every so often, and make the mistake of telling you that they love you (even if it's meanings for both of you are not exactly the same). Hah! Been there...
I've encountered many pasakays before... probably because I'm a self-confessed gullible sakayista. Even then, I've enjoyed daydreaming that they might be THE ONE I've been praying for, and even if sometimes they made me cry, they made me stronger too.

[ the obnoxious one ]
Five minutes will never pass without the obnoxious one spitting out green jokes, sex jokes, chauvinist remarks, so on and so forth.
He is the one who, consciously or not, will endlessly tell and re-tell his past sexual escapades and beerhouse experiences with pride... even in the presence of women. He is also the one who plays around with you, telling you how pretty you are, woos you, and means it all as a joke.
The obnoxious one isn't necessarily like that all the time. He can be an intelligent conversationalist, a good friend, a creative brainstormer/writer and much, much more. However, he just can't help but be obnoxious... as if his every breath depended on how much green jokes and chauvinist remarks he can butt out.I can't say I like being with my obnoxious friends, but they amuse me every now and then. They disgust me also, but when it comes down to business (not monkey business, of course), they really deliver.

[ the big brother ]
The big brother specie is self-explanatory.
These are the ones who are really, really concerned for your welfare, call you "baby" (as in baby sis, ha? not the other baby term) even if you don't want to be called by such name, would see to it that you came home safe by texting you or calling you just to do a "rounds check-up" and so on...The big brother may be someone you look up to, or someone you just encountered later on in your life.
He might not be very close to you, but is as caring. He might get into your nerves once in a while because he overprotects you even if he shouldn't, but you love him just the same because he offers his hanky when he chances upon you, crying in the hallway.I never saw my big brother, but I love him so much because he let other big brother figures step into my life and see that even if he is not with me physically, he will forever be watching over me.

[ the *sigh* ]
How shall I describe the *sigh*?
The *sigh* are the ones who are good-looking, sensitive, generous, appreciative, humble, talented, caring and considerate. They are the ones who call you when you tell them you're having a bad day, text back often, spend time with you even if you're not their girlfriend, appreciate your little deeds... and the list goes on and on.
Why are they called the *sigh*?
Because no matter how pretty, kind, talented and intelligent you are, they will never look at you the same way a hopeless romantic, a psychotic-loyal friend, a pasakay, an obnoxious one, or a big brother will. They will always call you "sister" even if you're not blood-related, and would accompany you to shopping sprees or long coffee breaks because they want to boy-watch with you.
So... are you *sigh*ing now?
I'm sure there are more kinds of guys out there... but these are the kinds of guys I've always been with for the past 5 years. So... still think that all guys are the same?

Basta ako... I don't think so. :)